Stitch by Stitch: The Beauty in the Unraveling
What a fae hood, a barking dog, and a well-timed undoing taught me about creative growth
Halfway through the tail of the crochet fae hood I’d been lovingly working on, my dog—guardian of the realm and enthusiastic enemy of porch trespassers—leapt off the sofa with righteous fury. Her little feet tangled in my yarn as she sprinted to bark at a neighbor’s cat who dared walk across our front porch.
In her valiant chaos, the yarn snagged. Loops slipped loose. Stitches unraveled. Progress disappeared in a heartbeat.
I gasped. And then, after the initial sting of “well that’s gone,” I laughed.
Because if life has taught me anything—especially through creativity and personal growth—it’s this:
Unraveling isn’t the end.
It’s an invitation to begin again
🌿 The thread that tugged on everything
This wasn’t the first time I’ve felt something fall apart unexpectedly—nor the most meaningful.
One of the biggest unravelings of my life came disguised as a gentle nudge: signing on with a cyclical living mentor. I thought I was there to learn about hormones and periods. You know—just syncing with the moon and all that.
Instead, what unraveled was a tightly-woven tapestry of internalized patriarchy and capitalist conditioning. I didn’t just learn about luteal phases and rest—I started to remember who I was before I learned to override myself.
I began to heal my “lazy” wound. I began honoring my rhythms. I reclaimed the right to put me first—before to-do lists, expectations, and the ever-hungry gods of productivity.
It was beautiful. It was liberating. It was also disorienting. Tugging on one thread and watching your whole inner structure shift.
Suddenly, the threads of patriarchy and performance were in my hands, no longer woven into my identity. And with that freedom came the gentle terror of: “Okay, now what do I do with all of this?”
Instead of patching it all back up, I realized I had the chance to choose differently. To reweave something that actually reflected who I was becoming. What I’ve learned though, whether through yarn or identity, is that unraveling doesn’t mean something’s gone wrong. It means something sacred is being reworked.
✨ Weaving from the mess
In crochet, when something unravels, I don’t scramble for the hook but instead reach for presence.
I pause. I feel. I hold the yarn in my hands like a question: What wants to happen now?
The sacred pause—both in thread and in life—is where the wisdom lives. It gives me space to ask:
Do I want to redo what was lost? Or is this an opening to follow a new pattern entirely?
This happened with my book clubs, too. I launched them because I wanted a place to explore the books that changed my life. A few people came. It was meaningful… but something felt off.
So I let it unravel. I sat with the threads. I asked what wanted to be kept—and what was done.
From that mess, this Substack was born. A space that feels like home to my Projector aura. A rhythm that supports my AuDHD system. A container that lets me go deep, wide, and sacred-weird on my own terms. Book clubs weren’t a “wrong” decision or endeavor, nor wasted time and effort because it all showed me what I loved about it and opened me up to what else was possible.
🔮 Crochet is a spiritual practice. Yes, really.
When I pick up my hook, something happens. The repetition. The texture. The quiet magic of creating something out of nothing. My nervous system breathes. My mind softens. My body remembers it’s safe.
As an AuDHD human with a Projector aura, this practice gives me everything I need:
Presence. Process. Permission to go slow.
It’s not just a hobby. It’s spiritual integration. It’s trauma repair. It’s me letting go of urgency, perfectionism, and needing to “get it right.”
Crochet mirrors my own inner transformation. I try, unravel, try again. I follow patterns and then… I break them. I get curious when things don’t work. I touch every loop, every knot, every misstep. I don’t rush. I trust.
It’s not about how fast I make something. It is about what energy lives inside every stitch.
🌊 The unraveling is part of the design
In personal growth, just like in craft, things have to come undone sometimes. Old identities, outdated beliefs, inherited rules—they loosen and slip away. And while that can feel like chaos, it’s actually sacred architecture.
Not everything will be rewoven the same way. Some yarns don’t belong in the new pattern. And that’s not failure—that’s freedom.
The unraveling gives us choice.
It opens the space to ask: What do I want to create now? What agreements will I keep? What truth feels like home in my body?
When we allow our creativity—whatever form it takes—to lead the way, we’re not just soothing our sacral and nervous systems nor are we “escaping the real work of self growth”…
We’re telling our inner child:
Your magic still matters.
Your imagination didn’t expire at age eight.
You don’t have to earn the right to play.
You’re safe now. You get to explore.
You get to begin again.
💭 A gentle question or two, just for you…
Where in your life are things tugging loose—not to break you, but to invite you into a truer pattern?
What’s your version of picking up the hook? What practice lets your nervous system know: we’re safe now, we can begin again?
Let the unraveling come. Let it show you what wants to be rewoven.
And stitch by sacred stitch, let something beautiful emerge.
That’s a beautiful analogy! The unravelling, the sacred pause… Am taking those thoughts into my week. Thank you 🥰